What Happened?????

Tuesday was a baaaaaad day.

Athena died.
My beautiful, 4 year old, awesome-moving, blue roan twisted a gut.
And I don't know what I could have done differently.

It was a normal morning, although for the first time in months she had eaten her breakfast awfully fast. We kept a big rock in her feed tub to stop her from bolting her food. She has eaten so fast that she has become "icky", but she hadn't had a problem in over a year (since we added the rock).

She tore out of her stall and into the pasture as normal.
When she came in, she was slow; but everyone was slow that day.....it happens sometimes (not often, but sometimes). When I was finishing up the barn chores, I brought in the stallion and noticed her laying down. That was odd, but then, I had put them out a bit early and some of the horses are definitely not morning creatures. She got up right away, and I checked her out.....her ears were warm, her gums were pink and she seemed otherwise normal.....but I did notice that she did NOT drink any water when she came in, and she had pushed her hay snack around but hadn't eaten it. Red flags right there. I did see some pooh....false sense of security, there

I walked her a bit and she seemed to brighten, so I put her back in the stall for a bit. More pooh. I checked on her again about 30 min later and she looked uncomfortable. So, I gave her some Banamine and walked her for 30 minutes. She seemed to respond well and when I put her back in her stall, she seemed normal. More pooh.

I went in to eat lunch. I went back out....she was up but just standing there. She just didn't look right. Nothing specific.....her ears were still warm, her gums still pink.....but just not right. There was another pooh pile. Then she flummened....stuck out her upper lip and it was quivering. I knew something was wrong, then....her mother did the same thing when she was in bad shape. She looked a bit bloated, although her flanks were still sunken in. I started walking her again. Then she started kicking at her belly.

I called the vet.

While waiting for the vet (I have a great vet service and they come as fast as they can when I call) she just kept getting worse and worse. More and more uncomfortable. She looked more bloated.

The vet came out....sedated her and tried his best to do what he knew he needed to do, but she would not cooperate. Her rectal exam was abnormal.....he could not feel her colon or her cecum. Not good. He could not get her stomach to release its fluid retention. The heavy sedation just took the edge off, and it was not long before she was hurting again. He sedated her with even heavier stuff. She finally let him get a rectal, but it was still abnormal. As we watched, I noticed she looked even more bloated. Even under sedation I could see her muscles quiver with pain. The swelling went into her chest and came up between her legs; her flanks were now round.

Options: Surgery at the Equine Hospital (if she would make it there). Surgery on draft horses is a last resort, since they do not do well. Most don't make it off the table and of the ones that do, most of THEM end up not waking up or not surviving long enough to come home.
Option 2: Take her on a really really bumpy trailer ride and hope the twist would untwist.

As she came out of the deep sedation, it became obvious that even THAT wasn't a decent option. She was hurting too much; it was time.

This was the same horse I was hoping to begin riding; the one I wanted to turn into a Hunter/Jumper and/or Dressage horse.

I cancelled my riding lessons for the time.....I need to put some distance between this and riding again. It was too painful to think about it.